Measure of Life

In daylights, in sunsets,
in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles,
in laughter, in strife.

In money, in jewels,
in dinners, in plates of dishes.
In parties, in beers,
in dances, in songs.

In friends, in family,
in lovers, in dates and flings.
In work, in promotions,
in merit increase, in yearly bonus.

In kindness, in giving,
in hatred, in fear and sorrow.
In mercy, in forgiveness,
in acceptance, in moving on...

How do you measure your life?

Explication inspired by the first stanza, taken from the song Seasons of Love by Jonathan Larson (may he rest in peace).

A Declaration to My Parents

September 23, 2007
- Sunday -
In 1972, this was the same day martial law was announced to the public by the then president Ferdinand Marcos.

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My Mama and I, together with my youngest brother, were watching DVD inside our family room on a rainy afternoon. My Tatang (father), on the other hand, was taking a bath, preparing himself for his weekend pastime with his friends.

"There is something inside me that wants to explode. It has been whirling round my mind and I cannot help but be preoccupied by it. There is willingness inside, a humble soul that wants to speak his heart. But is it courageous enough? I hoped it is."

Yacu (Me): "Ma, ninung ginawa quing nickname cu."
(Who invented my nickname?)
Mama: "Di dara mu. I dara mung D**y. Ya naman mamyeng lagyu que cayu."
(Your Aunt D**y. She's the one who creates nicknames for you and your cousins.)
Yacu: "Bala na kasi ning meg-interview cacu napun gawa-gawa que. Sabi cu pin caya, Tita cu ing ginawa quing nickname cu. Childhood nickname que pa ita."
(The interviewer thought I made it myself. I said then to her that my Aunt was the one who made it. It's a childhood nickname.)
(Mama did not reply after this. She intently watched the movie.)
Yacu: "Ene kasi balung i-pronounce. I think she found it too... [unuttered:gay]"
(She did not know how to pronounce it. I think she found it too.... [unuttered:gay])

"Gosh! I could not utter the word! Err..."

"Why can't I say it? Am I too scared? Too ashamed to say it? I've just made an introduction just to help me spill out the right words..."

My Tatang finished bathing and went on choosing a shirt to wear from the cabinet. I asked him, "Are you going?". "Yes", he said, sensing a bit weird on my tone.

"Why do you ask", he said.
"Uhmmm. I want to say something"
"What is it?"
(I paused.)
"You want me to buy you something?"
"No. Uhmmm... I'll just tell you tomorrow.", I said, getting a bit cowardly at that moment.
(Mama just watching intently on the TV.)
"He wants you to buy me and him a laptop.", my youngest brother jokingly told.
"No, it's not that.", I answered quickly.
"Then what is it?", Tatang said, a bit annoyed by my hesitance.
"Uhmmm..."
"What is it? You'll just make me worry, thinking about that if you'll not tell it now."
Mama suddenly spoke up, a bit agitated. "Tell us. Here we go again. You start telling something, then suddenly you stop talking."
"Uhmmm..."
"What is it? About what?", Tatang said.
"Uhmmm... It's about me."
"Then, what about you?"
"Uhhh... Yesterday, during the interview... the interviewer asked me if I were straight or gay..."
(Finally... I uttered the word.)
"So what did you say?"
(Surprised by the boldness my father demonstrated, I got a bit awestruck...)
"The truth...", I said.
"('Yon naman pala...) I told you before, we [your parents] are here just to give you advice. I never forced you to do anything against your will. Besides, we can't really choose who our children will be. As long you are being a good citizen, there's no problem with that. I do not ask anything more than for you my children to be very loving to each other."
"As long as you're not doing anything wrong...", my Mama added.

"Hearing those kind words come from my parents' mouths was total bliss. The passing of arguments, the cries, the nonacceptance... that I imagined before is not what I encountered."

I hugged my Mama, while my Tatang was saying his words. When he finished, he went on his way towards the room's door. I said, "Wait!".

Then was the time I had my longest hug with my father.

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"My parents are naturally evasive from the common family drama that one would watch from a telenovela. I've long been accepting that fact. Despite their mere expression of thoughts and feelings, I know deep down those straight faces is a humble manifestation of parental love to their child that is I." (^_^)

A mis padres, los amo mucho!

Re: To be one of the 100?

Call time: 10AM.

I arrived half an hour early on the site at the ABS-CBN compound. The heavy rains then would have convinced me to cancel my attendance. But then, my friend, who accompanied me to the screening, was eager to help me get over my second thought. It was just too bad he wasn't allowed to go inside the compound as only invited persons were permitted.

Going inside the entrance gate, a security guard, slash event marshal, asked for the invitation SMS. Checking it was valid, he let me pass through.

Around 40 people were there, under the covered area for 1 vs. 100 applicants. I queued to get a Basic Application form. When I reached the counter, the man asked for the SMS invitation and a valid ID. I turned in my phone and my Social Security System ID card. After he searched for my long name, he let me sign my record entry on the applicant's list, to make sure my slot was filled, and handed over the Basic Application form.

10 AM came in and I wasn't yet finished filling up the queries on the form. One of the event marshals instructed the participants to follow him towards the studio where the tests would be given. I just completed the form when I took my seat inside the cold studio room.

The Test

I only expected an exam paper, filled with anything-under-the-sun questions. Yes, I was given that. But it was not the only test I needed to pass. Before the written examination commenced, all the participants had a dose of some slapstick "mature" comedy. Yes. The cold room was suddenly transformed into a comedy bar. I laughed a few times, for some corny reasons, but most of the time, the host wasn't funny at all. Or probably it was the other way around -it was just me who wasn't getting the hang of his raunchy humor.

According to the host, he needed to do his comic routine in order to see who among us could handle seemingly ridiculing or abashing antics. Was he bluffing or not, that I did not know.

After almost an hour of "torturing" the conservative minds of some grandmothers inside the studio, the test papers came in.

The exam lasted for only 6 minutes. The number of questions? Thirty.

Items in the tests were pulled from various topics: from World History to Greek Mythology, to Sciences, to Calendar Events, to Showbiz, to Pinoy Common Knowledge, etcetera, etcetera. The questions are literally a combination of sorts. On the first minute of the exam, I was actually quite awestruck as I wasn't able to answer quite surely on my first run on the papers. Probably because my brain was lagging from two years of suspension to such examination. Fortunately, I was able to drive my brain cells to work and answered the best I could.

The Test Result

When all the papers were checked, they were turned over back to the host to announce which ones qualified. As he was announcing the names of those who passed, I waited patiently, hoping my answers were good enough to make me qualify. 5... 10... 15 names were called... I did not hear my name. Then out of nowhere, I heard a very familiar phrase... MY NAME WAS CALLED!

I went out of the studio to queue for the qualifier's list. When it was my turn on the booth, a lady facilitator took a picture of me, and had my finger marks digitally recorded, so as not to bring any identification cards if told to come back. She then told me to get a form and come back after an hour for the interview. What? A new form to fill-up and an interview? I thought I only needed to pass the test to become a player. Err...

The Interview

Not all the passers got an instruction to wait for immediate interview. Only 10 (more or less) waited. I wondered why.... My suspicion was that one of us remaining were still under consideration for the "1" spot (the main contestant's spot in the game). When it was my turn to be interviewed, I wasn't nervous at all. That was so unlikely because interviews had always been nerve-wrecking to me (I am just good in hiding the tension from the interviewer). On second thought, maybe I've changed. Hehe.

My interview elapsed for like 10-15 minutes. It was a casual conversation involving some slam-book questions. Everything went well - I answered all questions confidently, except for one, which made me stammer a bit. I did not see the question coming. So when I heard it, it was a bit mind-blocking. The question was: "Straight or gay?"

Whew!

To be one of the 100?

I forgot to check my phone this past morning. Just when I was reminded, I took it from my green messenger bag. To my surprise, seven SMS ready to be read; Not a typical scenario as I often receive, on the average, less than 5 text messages in a day, two of which are SMART's unsolicited promo texts (such an annoyance sometimes). As I skimmed over the new messages list, I saw this ostensible promo text from 231. I was about to delete it, good thing, I read the first part of the message 'cause it wasn't one of those SMART alerts. It said verbatim:

MOB:May chans ka 2b a 1 vs. 100 contestant!Ur invited 2 come 2 ABSCBN QC on SATURDAY 9/22/07,10am for screening.Bring valid ID & ballpen.Dnt erase ds msg.

Hahaha! My first reaction was to laugh. I couldn't believe the one registration SMS I sent a couple of weeks (or more?) ago, on the night I first watched 1 vs. 100 would really entitle me of a screening invitation.

When it sank into my mind, the next imperative question came in... should I go to the screening?

I was supposed to leave the metro this evening for my weekly reprieve to my hometown. I guess that would be postponed until tomorrow afternoon, right after the screening.

Yes... I am going tomorrow. Haha! This is so out of my league, and it's making me anxious!

Tomorrow will sure be a new experience. I only like participating in such quiz shows from a boob tube perspective. A probable participation inside that boob tube is a different one. Haha!

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The irony of it all: I do not watch 1 vs. 100, except on the night I sent my registration out of sheer curiosity and whim. (^_^) Good luck to this seemingly capricious pursuit. Who knows I might end up getting a bit richer after all. *Wishful thinking*

Chuck and Larry

A quarter passed six in last evening, I arrived in this mall after approximately 10 minutes of cantering from the office. Good thing the atmosphere outside wasn't too humid to incite my sweat glands to work, else I'd be one sweaty fella on the run. Apparently I was 15 minutes late and my best friend, Sib, has been there waiting and gallivanting along the mall corridors. We did not have much time to waste as we planned to watch Chuck and Larry then. Time slot: 7:20 PM.

Good riddance, we still had time to grab some food as Sib was terribly famished. But before our gastronomic gratification, we went to the movie house ticket booth, asked for two tickets on the 7:20 slot, reserved good seats, then paid 300. With no much time to perform Elimination Method through the limited choices of food places available, we just opted to eat again at this diner-like place. We dined, that is, despite our time constraint, as we had less than half an hour to devour each repasts. Good riddance again, service was fast and the crew was very accommodating. I got Smoked Salmon and Gruyere Cheese Omelette with an extra serving of wheat bread on the side (yeah, I was starving alright, hehe). Sib ordered Grilled Chicken Tortilla Wrap (gosh, I actually liked hers, though the omelette was too persuasive to be shrugged off from my attention - I'm a sucker for eggs you know - no punning intended please =p). We emptied our plates... (Alright, only mine. Sib wasn't able to finish her food. Ergo, I got to take the leftovers. Haha! Talking about being a glutton.)... just in time to get the bill, pay, and head off to the cinema. Lucky us, we arrived a couple of minutes earlier before show time.

Inside the Movie House

The dark room was sparsely filled with viewers - I think there were less than 30 people inside. The "flashlight" lady helped us locate our seats - very comfy seats by the way, with cushioning support on the head. Sib and I were situated within the "best seats area". Unfortunately, the "best seats" qualifier was voided too early during the show due to some overacting XX-chromosomed viewers at my back who kept on splattering their annoying "oh no!", "no way!", "aaawwww", "oh my gosh".... Well, I just quelled the thought and enjoyed the rest of the flick.

The Movie

Apparently, the movie would superficially qualify to be comical in theme. Well, yes it was. A lot of times I went laughing, giggling or simply savoring the gay and not so gay punch lines of the casts. There were some eyebrow-raising scenes though, which gave me the instinctive I-don't-agree face, especially those relating to gay issues and the sex-crazed, promiscuous perception imposed on the queers - my default perception that is. At hindsight, I just let everything pass. Besides, it's a comic film.

Looking outside the box, the story was not mainly rooted on gay inspiration (though a lot of good insights regarding queers were shown) but on the idea of friendship. I won't tell much about it as I don't want to spoil anticipating viewers.

As a whole, the movie's worthy of good laughs and some good inspiration.

Self-portrait: A Kid at Heart

Vibrant, young, gleeful and freewheeling!

My cousins and brother doused themselves in the calf-high flood in our family compound in the province. Not enervated by the dirt of the annual flood, they satisfied their hearts' desires, evidenced by their joyful grins. I could still remember the same jubilant aura I had while swimming with friends in the flood more than a decade ago.

The joy of youth! (^_^)

Inday, The Swish Elite Maidservant

The invasion has commenced, and now funny text messages about this "Inday" personality have proliferated cellphone owners. Be them too trivial, prosaic or simply boring to some with hard-to-please funny bones, well for me, they're not. You see, even corny jokes bring tears to my eyes (tears of humor, that is).

So, I got here a collection of Inday jokes from a friend. To tell you, these made my day! Haha! Be ready to stimulate your brain's right frontal lobe and get a release of dopamine from your hypothalamus. Enjoy!

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Sad animal facts:
1.) Ants never sleep
2.) Pigs raise their heads to look at the sky
3.) Butterflies only live for seven days
See you have 3 more reasons to be thankful for today. Being something always has its ups and downs. Just remember, while you’re complaining about your situation, someone could be wishing he/she were in your place.

- Si Inday chinika ang mga istambay sa kanto habang napadaan para bumili ng suka at toyo.

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500= globe plan subscription
1800=glutathione tablet
1000=croc flip flops
1,700 = padala mama

- Binudget ni Inday ang sweldo nya. =p

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“Love”
-a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain, causes the eye to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressures to rise and the lips to pucker!

- Inday gumagawa ng blog sa Multiply account nya..

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There are tulips in the street; there are tulips in the park, but nothing compares to our two lips meeting in the dark.

- Pamatay na linya ni Dodong kay Inday. (Dodong's Inday's boyfriend).

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“Its not that I don’t like you, its just that I feel we are still too young to entertain thoughts of fornication in the domicile of our employers. In fact its very immature to insuate that I didn’t reciprocate your emotions just because I decline to perform an act of coitus with you”

- Inday nirereject si Dodong na makipag-sex. Sosyal na talaga si Inday. Grabe!!

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“I pity you for you have degraded your very own pride and dignity by resorting to this despicable behavior just for wealth and I hope that one day you will realize that you should not use humans as means of your ends. As what the great philosopher Khan uttered “ treat a man as an end in himself”!

- Sagot ni Inday sa holdaper na nangholdap sa kanya.

“Shut up, if you don’t want a hole in your cranium!”

- Sagot ng holdaper. (Ang sosyal na talaga nila!!!).

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Proving that in this violence-oriented culture, there is no such thing as an acquiescence to giving admonitions, I was shot by a 9mm bullet in the head penetrating my cranium and causing irreparable damages to m y thinking facility and for what you might ask. For my seemingly presumptions yet convoluted obsessions likewise adroitness in verbosity. D physician did not only find that my verbal aptitude has been utterly impaired (henceforth ending my notorious knack for giving the unwary readers nosebleeds) but the pseudo medical practitioners who consider themselves gods also declared me….

DEAD.

- In loving memory of Inday (Ayan patay na siya! Sa wakas tapos na ang mga kahibangan!).

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Even souls wander. And even if their bodies are no longer existing, they still have the capacity to communicate with the living. You may be happy for shooting me, but this I tell you.. I shall return!

- Kaluluwa ni Inday. Hindi mapakali dahil sa kanyang kagimbal gimbal na pagkamatay.

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“I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness made itself manifests, extending to that niche where I was given life and growth, that because of austerity I was made separated from…”

- Inday… hindi makatulog dahil nahohomesick.

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“I am solitary. I find it hard to succumb into slumber, though the downpour of rain should’ve made it easy. This exuberant emotional glue I have for you, cannot be simply washed away. The multiplicity of what I feel for you is inevitable. This isn’t platonic. It’s real, true romance.”

- Inday, nageemote sa may bintana, habang iniisip si Dodong, ang boyfriend niya.

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“The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocation. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!”

- Ganito nakipag-break si Inday kay Dodong (Driver ng kapitbahay).

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Amo: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda.. o nga pla inglesira ka… would you please purchase many fishes for our this week’s meals?

Inday: Judging from your statement I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term “fishes”, although rarely and even erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traveresed the road to the wet market would be: What certain type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day’s catch? (Pauses) Aaah… by manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget in this houshold’s quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple “galewng-gowng”. Am I correct?

Amo: Leche!

Inday: You meant the freshwater milkfish? Then the “ba-ngooz” is it!

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“La vida no es una broma actualmente. El dinero es tan duro de pasar. Puede usted bajar el precio parci mi? Soy ya su compradora avido diario por favor?"

- Si Inday tumatawad sa merkado ng isinama siya ng amo sa España.

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*Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar serve with milagrosa rice (red avriety) and apricot sauce
*Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive olive
*Lychee and peach salad with sour cream cheese topped with lemon zests

- Baon ni Junior sa daycare na inihanda ni Inday.

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“Bloody hell!!! What the f*ck did just landed on my cutie top? I mean I’ve spent all day just to make myself look fabulous. I think I’ll have this eewy thing removed in a whip wham of time!”

- Reaction ni Inday nung natalsikan sya ng mantika habang nagluluto ng tilapia.

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“Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient to this Filipino delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during the peristaltic process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods, the harvest of the said vegetable has lessen the production in the market.”

- Banat ni Inday kung bakit walang “kangkong” sa nilutong sinigang.

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“Heavy fire that exerted by the stimulus affect the best conductor of heat which is the steel, causing the “oriza sativa” which is the scientific name of rice to change its state of color, smell as well as the taste.”

- Sagot ni Inday nang tanungin siya ng amo kung bakit nasunog ang sinaing.

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“Off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!”

- Si Inday, pinapaalis ang makulit na pulubi sa gate… (Taray talaga ni Inday!).

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“Allergens triggered the immune response. Eosinophilic migration occurs to the reaction site and release of chemotactic and anaphylotoxin including histamine and prostaglandins. These substance results to increase circulation to the site promoting redness.”

- Sagot ni inday nun tanungin ni sir kung bakit may rashes si Junior.

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Amo: Day! Bakit may bukol si Junior?!

Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy’s cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.

Amo: (Di nakareact)

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“Dear Mom,

Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed moment ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn’t enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabily run academe. Oh such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never lot being a governess can be such a strenuous employ.

Your daughter,

Inday”


“Dear Inday,

Walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa ospital nanay mo, dumugo ang ilong kababasa ng pesteng sulat mo!

Tatay”

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Mister: Bakit tuwing pag-uwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng TV??!!!

Inday: Because I don’t want you to see me doing absolutely nothing!

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Amo: Inday di ba nanood ka ng The Buzz kahapon? Bakit daw umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA7?

Inday: Sometimes people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they’ll stay. Leaving can be a tough act and it’s harder when people can’t understand you for doing so.

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“Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one’s body. It is therefore essential that once in a while we take a break from our usual routine to replenish the lost energy we once had.”

- Sabi ni Inday sa amo noong humingi siya ng dayoff.

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Misis: Inday, bakit mo binenta yung sirang silya?

Inday: I have computed the chair's fair value less cost to sell, and the value in use using projections for 5 years and a pre-tax discount rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair. This in accordance with PAS18 on Revenue, PAS16 on Property, Plant, and Equipment, and PAS36 on Impairment of Assets!

Misis: ADIK ka talaga Inday!


Laugh more with Inday!

Day of the Coding Geeks

Today is Programmer's Day!

Programmer's day is a whimsical "holiday" on the 256th day of the year celebrated mostly by computer programmers (reason: 256 = 2 to the power of 8 = the number of values representable in a byte of data). Traditions include drinking, behaving silly, coding silly programs, mini computer games, playing with old computers, etc. Programmer's day usually falls on September 13th; on leap years, it is September 12th. [Reference]

What the heck?! Is there such a day as this? Haha!

It's so hilarious someone came up with this day - a day for obsessed freaks tinkering on their PCs all day. With my work as a software developer, most of my time have been devoted to carpal-tunneling trysts with Mr. Windows, having been baptized as a Computer Scientist (Err...) more than a couple of years back. Given that, I never really knew a day like this was ever conceived.

To all the coders out there, have a bug-free Programmer's Day!

Self-portrait: An Asymptote

It gets closer and closer but never touches the curve.

Just a memento of mi primer amor.
You see, I was his asymptote for a long time (like almost a decade).
Now, I'm not romantically asymptotic anymore.
Just a sinusoidal friend.
(Haha, apologies for the nerdy mood.)

Bon Voyage Roxie!

Tomorrow, September 8, 2007, is the day my good friend Roxie is bound to leave the country for US. It's saddening 'cause it's just recent that we freshened up our friendship with more openness and profundity. The dread of bidding goodbye has crept me once more, and as always, it's never pleasing. Then again, I know that this is not absolute estrangement from a dear friend.

God bless your trip my dear friend. We will meet again and share stories once more. And this I promise, when you get back, I owe you one more coffee treat. (^_^) Hehe.

I'm just here, your good old "Mr. Careless", "Mr. Loner" friend. (Remember those "names". Hehe.)

Mimingat ca carin. Mikit tana pasibayu quing YM.

- Drake -

ROCK

I saw this board last night while I and my best friend were having dinner at Cocorama. "In a matter of principle, stand like a ROCK"... gosh, that hit at the core when I read it. It seemed so fitting to what had happened to me yesterday morning - made me reflect more on the mistake that I did, for not standing firm on what I believe was right. I stumbled and my rock's bruised. Soon, it'll heal...

Do I Shine for You?

Wondering where you are now
If you can see me smiling
Through all the twists and turns
Well, I was broken I was burned
But I survived somehow

(Thank You for the gift of resiliency...)

You are the voice in my head
Reminding me what I'm made of
Take a chance, that's what you'd say
The gift is yours to give away
It's who I am
It's who I am

(Thank You for the gift of life, of wisdom, of conscience...)

Because you saw what I could be
I had a chance 'cause you believed
Now as I make my dreams come true
I shine for You
You were the one who dried my tears
Walked with me 'til my path was clear
You are in everything I do
I shine for You
I shine for You

(I really hope to shine for You someday...)

Somehow you always were there
Cheering me on, showing you cared
And now I'm out here on my own
But I know that I'm not alone
I still have You
I still have You

(Thank You for staying with me when I am in desperation, in solitude, in death...)

Every now and then I stumble
Sometimes I'm afraid
But like a hand upon my shoulder
You're there to guide my way

(Thank You for the guiding light you've always shone from the lighthouse...)

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... I'm sorry I failed You once again. What was I thinking? You've always loved me yet I often hurt You. You've been my shoulder to cry on when I was in despair. You comforted me when my heart was throbbing in pain. Yet, how can I be so oblivious about all these?...

It's so strange that one aims for perfection in this imperfect world. I guess the former is nowhere to be found; It's in the culmination, and that one should search for it.

As long as there is breath in me, I will persist. No matter how flawed I am, how foolish I would be, I will persevere, to do the greatest of all the greatest... that is to LOVE.

The above stanzas are the lyrics of I Shine for You by Mau Marcelo.

An Abstraction: The Wake of a Two-Month Conundrum

The past two months after my Hong Kong sojourn, I would say, was a dramatic experience, with tons of ruptured emotions; Some lingered to thin air. Everything was way overwhelming, too foreign to say the least. My whole system wasn't ready then - I just got back from a wonderful trip and I was well high-spirited. Alas, I broke down, the least that I would expect myself to do.

So, what could I possibly do then but to face all. This was something familiar to do yet the situations were totally out of my league. Like other people would do, I took the guts that I could muster and confronted the seemingly unrelenting play of emotions that took me by storm. I tell you, it wasn't easy. Pettily, I even asked God was this a payback for all the fun and joy I had in HK? The world did revolve - I was on the zenith for a week, then I drowned down to nadir.

Yet, somehow, in the brilliance of the world's forces, the wonderful people I have, and the Love that Is Always There, I quelled.

For one very good reason of God letting me through all these experiences, I am grateful... Well, I've always developed this certain attitude of mine from the countless times I've marred myself in the past. Despite how bad something is, I find something good in it. It may sound quite naive for most, well... OK, I'd consider that given that I don't see myself a total cynic - that's just who and how I am. Somehow, all this has helped me go through my life.

I'm glad to be back. (^_^)


Sorry for too much abstraction and lack of details. Thanks for those people who have expressed their kind concern in the past couple of months. Your thoughtfulness and kindness are well appreciated... I mean that. You know who you are. God bless!