Highlights of the Past 21st Year (Updated)

Culminating my 21st year last October 4th, I've been remembering what has been. A lot of my experiences, I would say, especially with my so-called "queerness", have lapsed quite astonishing; gleeful and fun-filled; at times quirky (a redundancy) and uneasy; passionate; bereft and anguished; but nonetheless rich with erudition and introspection. One reason I like about life is the endless opportunity to learn. Despite the inevitable reality of mistakes and failures, it's often worth recognizing that such vulnerability could actually be a chance to redeem one's self. To be more erudite. To be more resolved. To be more faithful perhaps....

Whoa! Slow down... That went not quite the way I wanted - too serious I guess. Err... it's just my internal chatter talking....

My intention here is a reckoning of my 21st-year events, a summation of milestones, both elating and excruciating. I would classify, or should I say rank, my 21st year as the most "uncomfortable" of all. Uncomfortable because during this year I surged the farthest away from my comfort zones. But then, it's also one of the most fun-filled, kid-at-heart satisfying years. Well, without any more fuss, here goes my list.

Swimming E-fish-ently - I got involved into this group of swimming professionals who's aim is to teach people how to swim the efficient way (i.e. the Total Immersion way). I had undergone training in improving my front crawl and subsequently was also taught how to handle students in adults and kids swim sessions. Unfortunately, due to some unexpected problems, I wasn't able to actually teach and put all my learnings to use. It's quite frustrating. Then again, the least I could do was to improve my swimming technique.
Postmortem: I still do swim regularly every week. And for the record, I could swim butterfly without struggling (yey!) though I still need improvement (as with the other strokes); Sometimes, I get it, sometimes, I don't. Practice makes perfect!
Current Stats (Average):
Front Crawl - 12 strokes per 25 m (4 breaths, with push-off)
Breaststroke - 8 strokes per 25 m (8 breaths, with push-off)
Butterfly - 10 strokes per 25 m (3 breaths, with push-off)
Backstroke - N/A (haven't tried swimming 25 m in a Total Immersion way; I often get misaligned from unconscious head tilting!)
*Mind you, I am not a competitive swimmer. Currently, I am more of being technique-oriented. I believe an efficient technique can yield faster, longer and enjoyable laps. Sometimes, I could even deem myself a mediocre in water despite the knowledge I hold.

"I love you high school best friend" - The culprit why Drake's Ragbag was conceived. The most excruciating experience of this year. The sleepless nights, the tormented mind, the unfocused employee in front of my PC, the almost-everyday absentmindedness... My first serious "cardiac" dilemma - I fell in love with Shane, my HS best friend. What I did? I told him. Yeah, I told him. It was my chance and I needed to grab it. Did it, yielded, and ended up just hurting more. Was it worth it? Yes. Despite the futility of that foray, I had the realization that I could really be in love with lack of reciprocity, and I could be stubborn at that. Then again, that same bullheadedness made me more resolute on the truth that in a situation, one is challenged to make up a decision, no matter how easy or difficult it is, in order to carry on. Yes, we are beings of whims, but we are also beings of will.
Postmortem: I followed through this gradually. One tearful night made it clear to me to accept that we're just friends. It wasn't easy, then again, I made it through somehow. With this experience, at least, I had a chance of averring to someone how much I've loved him. (Shane and I have reforged our friendship after my passionate torment.)

Bora... bora bora - Woohoo! My first airborne trip was last March's Boracay getaway with fellow officemates/friends. 'Twas a four-days-three-nights sojourn to this famous Visayan Island, with tons of epicurean anticipation. Much to the need of my "fresh" heartbreak then, I indulged to the natural wonders of the beach and the water (as with the bars, I just simply let go - I am not really fond of them.). I could not imagine how much solace Boracay smothered me then (despite the ubiquitous commercialism) - I guess I was a merman or a sea creature in my past life. It was then that I had my first open water swim (with no life support), snorkeling without a snorkel (haha! quite paradoxical) and Paraw sailing (Paraw is an outrigger boat). Also, due to some whimsical cause, I even had my hair done like a pineapple (ouch! that hurt my scalp) and by upper back painted with a henna tattoo.
Postmortem: The Philippines is one richly endowed archipelago of wondrous creations. God's really an artist. I badly wanted to go back to the beach the day we left. Thinking about the future possibilities, I might consider retiring near the beach. *wish*wish*wish* (^_^)

Puerto Galera! - Almost a couple of months after my Boracay trip, I went to Puerto Galera. 'Twas my first time then in the island so I was very excited to see the place, especially the beautiful corals and fishes that most people would tell about Puerto Galera's water. Given the various resorts available, our HR department decided to make a reservation in this secluded family beach resort. The cove was pretty much admirable, with semi-white sand and a snorkeling site, if not for the abrupt sloping of the beach and the quite turbid water. Then again, it was still a beach and there was abundance of water for swimming - that alone was enough to energize the kid in me.
The vacation wasn't all swimming though. There were games that the organizers planned for all employees to join: Charades, Dress-up Relay, and Amazing Race. I played in each game with such promise I did not even expect from myself. Especially with the Amazing Race leg, where I needed to drink almost 2 liters of cola, I violated my no-sodas rule and gulped, gulped, and gulped all the way to winning the competition. Later that day, during the evening band session, I even won an overnight stay for two, with free accommodations, on the same resort, from a "Guess the Song" game.
Postmortem: After all the day's activities, I had a realization that I could really be very competitive, be oblivious of self-consciousness, and even be daring enough to go overboard if needed. Some people in the past have noted my dedication and promise in some of my endeavors, which I have deemed in doubt due to some trivial lack of self-confidence. Just until I quaffed that volume of cola did I change my perception about myself (Hehe). As for the return and overnight stay gift certificate, I guess that would just get forfeited.

Disney, Ocean Park, Hong Kong! - A childhood dream came true when my three guy friends and I set foot on Cantonese soil - Hong Kong! It has been one of my frustrations since I started studying in school. More than seventeen years back, my Auntie-Ninang, a stewardess then, promised to bring me to Hong Kong if in any case I become valedictorian in my class. Apparently, I never grabbed that beguiling rank in all my six years in primary school. Despite my consistent listing on the honor roll, she never gave any consolation. Ergo, I ended up frustrated until I reached high school when I forwent the hope.
I would have not realized this aged aspiration if not for the persistent cajoling of one of my three friends. Considering that I had just flown to Boracay last March, another trip would be too luxurious for me and unfitting to my lifestyle - I'm just your average-earning yuppie you know. Then again, after a few internal debates in my mind, and some advice-seeking from loved-ones, I decided to book a flight.
Our three nights and three days in Hong Kong, I would say were overwhelming, both physically exhausting, from lack of sleep and too much walking, and pocket busting, from what else but shopping. From late night shopping to Disney, to shopping, to Ocean Park, to malling, to Harbour Lights & Sounds Show, to shopping, to The Peak, to shopping, to strolling, to MTR rides, to food-tripping, to Tram Rides, and to malling and shopping again, it seemed that the four of us hardly needed time to rest to cover as much of Hong Kong in our short stay there. Though it seemed I had a lot of shopping, the truth was I wasn't much of a spender then except for new food to taste - it's my guilty pleasure. My Chinese friend was the one who did much of the purchasing. And because of him, we went to this chichi mall near Victoria Harbour, where I encountered this unnerving Caucasian guy who stared at me for like 10 seconds while we were riding the escalator, fortunately, on opposite directions. If not, I would not have liked what could possibly have happened (e.g. he approaching directly onto me), given that I was with my three straight guy friends - I wasn't ready for an impromptu unlocking of my closet. Good riddance, my guy friends were oblivious of this white guy's riveting eyes.
Postmortem: It's never too late to fulfill an old dream. Especially now that I earn my own money, I can somehow direct my desires with less constraints and with a higher probability of achievement. Then again, despite the freedom to spend my earnings, never forget to do it wisely and still save some for future needs. Err... I think I violated that one.

Familial Emancipation - Finally, my parents know that their eldest son is gay. It's all sheer happiness. (^_^)

A Game Contest Screening Experience - Err... until now, I haven't received any confirmation if ABS still plans to let me join their show. Also, it seems "1 vs 100" has changed its program into "1 vs 100 Kids", an apparent defensive/offensive scheme to contend GMA 7's Pinoy version of "Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?" (Kakasa ka ba sa Grade 5?). If that's the case, it would be totally impossible for me to join the mob (and my only chance is the "1" spot). Well, it's actually no big deal. Who's on the wait anyway? Hehe.

Blogger Friends - I never expected gaining friends through Drake's Ragbag. You see, I was never fond of connecting and discovering people through the Internet (Too much insincerity could get involved). Drake's Ragbag was just meant to be an outlet of my thoughts and blahs. To get involved with other people and even get the chance to meet them was something else more to my anticipation. For the record, I've already met three real people through Drake's Ragbag; had someone offering a kind gesture to send me a copy of RENT; and found a new blogger friend who even gave me a birthday present by surprise. Those were just simple events, but for me they meant something significant. I have always nurtured this attitude of appreciation for small things as equally important as the big ones. So to my dear blogger friends, most especially to those who have come "real" and in flesh, my sincere thank you to all of you. God bless! (^_^)

Blog Action Day: Environmental Concern

So, what do I do for the environment? Let me count some of the ways:

1. Whenever I buy items from 7-11, especially for a single item, I don't ask or even let the cashier bag my purchase. Also, if I am bringing my own bag, I just dumped my purchase inside it as long as I still have extra space.

2. I don't smoke cigarettes.

3. I don't have my own vehicle. (If I would, I want it to run with biofuel - Err... I just hope this does not cost much when the time comes I am to purchase.)

4. The REUSE/RECYCLE principle: for plastic bottles to be utilized again as water containers when I attend my Capoeira training and do swimming; for office printouts, reuse for doodling (hehe) and brainstorming.

5. Common sense: put the trash inside the trash bin. For segregated trash cans, put the right trash on the right bin. Need I say more?

6. Non-CFC aerosols for me. Always check the labels.

7. I reuse that "green bag" from SM Supermarket whenever I do grocery shopping since the day I got it. It would have been much better if the bag were made of canvass instead of the seemingly plastic green material.

I may have offended one of these (but never #2!) but nevertheless, in most cases, I adhere to them. Such no-brainers I assume, yet too hard to be habitual to some. What do you do for your environment? Do you still care?

Control. Discern. Adapt. Think. Decide. Move.

"Since changes are going on anyway, the great thing is to learn enough about them so that we will be able to lay hold of them and turn them in the direction of our desires. Conditions and events are neither to be fled from nor passively acquiesced in; they are to be utilized and directed."

- John Dewey

... You can't be more miserable or jubilant enough than your own doing.

Getting Combative

On the eve of my birthday, I had a taste of how it was to do some martial arts maneuvers with the guidance of an erudite trainer. This was no Chinese martial arts, as most would instinctively assume in their minds. It's Capoeira, a Brazilian dance form of martial arts.

Last Monday, when I had my second session, I finally enrolled into the class. Yey! This was like a product of The Secret. Months ago, I was practicing my cartwheel for some childhood frustrations. Then, I held knowledge about Capoeira from a men's magazine. The next thing, I found myself enthused by it. And just recently, it came into reality, like wishing it to the worldly genie responding to me: Your wish is my command. Haha! Roffle!

If you could recall one Bench commercial, which featured Rafael Rosell (only wearing a nether undergarment), the routine he did there was a series of Capoeira moves (if I am not mistaken, the first stance he did was esquiva frontal).

Whatever!!!

This kid is so cute doing the Whatever!!! routine. Hehe. Very funny with eye rolling and hand raising. Whatever!!! (^_^) Cute cute! I just hope she doesn't grow an attitude with this act.

Self-Portrait: Thankful

Hi! My name is Nineteen. Today is my birthday and I am three years old. Drake's my surrogate father. I've been in his custody from the time my six godparents presented me to him on his nineteenth natal day. (^_^)

Free View My Desktop

Makoy tagged me for this one... So here's my current desktop screen cap. =)

The desktop background is a photo I took on my last day in Boracay this past summer. Apparently, I have a number of opened windows/applications just minimized in the taskbar on the left - work obviously. I maintain a few icons so as not to clutter and in a way deface my desktop background's visually transmissible solace. On the top right corner, you see five yellow squares, are minimized e-Post-its where I dump miscellaneous notes. And on the lower right, obviously, is iTunes running.

If you like your readers to have a peep of your desktop, then I am tagging you to do this. (^_^)

TAG STARTS HERE

My Desktop Free View Instruction:

A. Upon receiving this tag, immediately perform a screen capture of your desktop. It is best that no icons be deleted before the screen capture so as to add to the element of fun. You can do a screen capture by:

[1] Going to your desktop and pressing the Prnt Scrn key.

[2] Open a graphics program (like Picture Manager, Paint, or Photoshop) and do a Paste (CTRL + V).

[3] If you wish, you can “edit” the image, before saving it.

B. Post the picture in your blog. You can also give a short explanation on the look of your desktop just below it if you want. You can explain why you preferred such look or why is it full of Icons, things like that.

C. Tag five of your friends and ask them to give you a Free View of their desktop as well. (Sorry, I did not follow this one)

D. Add your name to this list of Free Viewers with a link pointing directly to your Desktop Free View post to promote it to succeeding participants.

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Surprise Call

10:54 AM, Delifrance, The Podium

After paying the sandwich I ordered, the cashier lady handed me my change and my order number - 4 (Must be my lucky day; Four's my number). I sat on the chair of one of the vacant table sets and waited patiently to get my midday repast. Whimsically, I checked my phone to see if there were lingering new SMS in my inbox. To my surprise, someone was calling.... The number: +000000 - how obscure.... Coming to my senses, I thought it might be some computer generated or international call dispatched indirectly to my number.

"Hello?", I said. No one answered.
"Hello?", I said again. This time someone answered back with a familiar voice. Who could that be?
Rehashing my memory... oh my gosh! It's Jannah, my college friend who's been living in the US for three years now.

She called me just to greet me a Happy Birthday - geez, how thoughtful of her to do.. Well, it's not yet my natal day. Then again, she ringed me just to make sure she does not forget to leave me a greeting.

Thanks Jannah! I appreciate the call very much! Hope to see you back here in Pinas. Don't forget, I still owe you a movie date. (^_^)

A Gluttonous End for September

I and my close guy college friends (the ones I was with in Hong Kong three months ago) got together again yesterday, this time at TriNoMa. Itinerary for that day: have lunch, watch Resident Evil: Extinction, and do spontaneity afterwards (e.g. shopping, coerce me to play DotA, gallivant along the mallways).

As planned, we had lunch from Mexicali (my treat 'cause of my forthcoming natal day), and viewed Resident Evil afterwards. I even managed to grab Darwin's Origin of Species: A Biography from Powerbooks, which I did not pretty much expect from myself then (why the heck did I get that book anyway?).


Anyway, our repasts from Mexicali, I would have to say, was hefty enough to our average stomachs. My two friends got each one a California-sized burrito (one Grilled Steak and one Ground Beef, which they hardly consumed because of the enormous serving), and I ordered a good-for-two serving of Chicken Fajitas.

Darn, the food was too much for my appetite (I underestimated their good-for-two serving. Apparently, it was "really" meant for two persons). Though the chicken was very tender and tasty, with all the sliced onions and julienned red bell peppers mixed, I was feeling almost sated after having just a couple of tortilla wraps. That was quite surprising as I often have big appetites, especially when rice's not included in the course. Good thing they had garlic dressing served, which helped my craving last long enough to take in all the remaining tortillas and chicken strips.

For dessert? Oh yes! We had dessert after that filling Mexican meal. One of my friends then was compelled to buy the trio afters as a penalty for arriving half an hour past our meeting time.

Exiting from Mexicali, we saw a nearby Mrs. Fields cafe. I thought it was a good idea to have a white chocolate macadamia cookie from the said store so I suggested he get us our sweet treats from there. Unfortunately, instead of getting cookies, my other friend suggested we get ice cream. Being complaisant enough, I submitted to the suggestion as I haven't tasted Mrs. Fields' frozen delights. From the six flavors available, I sticked loyal to my taste and chose the macadamia-flavored one. To my disappointment, the ice cream was too sweet and had more of a sorbet feel on the tongue.

After watching Resident Evil: Extinction, the three of us waited for the fourth member of our clique. He was late to arrive due to some Sunday work in his company.

It was already dinner time when our group was completed. My late arriver friend came in famished. Though my stomach wasn't aching for more food then (as I could still taste Chicken Fajitas from my occasional belching), we decided to get our evening meals. This time, we went outside the mall and into TriNoMa's facade, where Terikayi Boy was installed. Here's what we had.

The Tempura Maki, Tofu, and Asparagus Wrapped in Bacon Strips are the ones I ordered for sharing. Unlike my friends, I did not get a rice bowl of my choice because I was still feeling sated. Then again, I enjoyed the food we had - of course!

After that satisfying dinner, I thought we were to do some strolling along the mallways just to let the food sink deeper into our gastronomic systems. We debated on what to do next: Watch another movie? Play DotA, which I really do not know how to? Sing karaoke at Red Box?

When we seemed to be going into a futile discussion, one of my friends butted in and suggested we get dessert from Razon's of Guagua - his treat. What?!? Food again?!?

Much to the delight of me and my other two friends being regaled, we agreed and apparently became oblivious of our satiation.


Gosh! I could hardly finish by serving of Halo-halo. In as much as I wanted to enjoy it, it was more of a chore for me to even spear a spoon of milk and ice to my mouth. Only my late arriver friend managed to finish his. I... just half of the plastic cup.

After that icy treat, I thought we were about to call it a day. Surprisingly, again, one of my friend, this time it was late arriver, volunteered to take us to Five Cows to try their ice cream cakes. Waaah! Dessert again!


And guess what? Without much hesitation to disregard the generosity, we accepted his invitation as it was on him this time (Well, we don't reject blessings do we. Haha!). Check out these fancy creations.

The cakes: S'mores Cake, Rocky Almond Bar, and Torta de Manila. The first two are too sweet for me, especially their crusts (I suspect embedded granules of white sugar to be the culprit to over-sweetness). The last one, which was the most intriguing of the three, was actually a cake made of vanilla ice cream and saging na turon (banana spring rolls). Yes, you read it right, saging na turon (what a clever idea!). I liked it the most because of the vanilla ice cream used - it made it less sweet compared to the two chocolate-based ones. But then, my gustation was just too tired from over-indulgence and I couldn't be righteous enough to criticize and savor the delicacy of each cold wedge.

It was almost mall closing time when we ended our gastronomic caprice (whew!). Thank God! On the other hand, I felt quite guilty being a glutton for a day; It was a total deviation from my mundane life. Oh well, I guessed an episodic food tripping wouldn't hurt much, especially if shared with good old friends. (^_^)
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