Monday, August 6, 2007

Life Goes On

Oh life goes on
And it's only gonna make me strong
It's a fact, once you get on board
Say good-bye 'cause you can't go back
Oh it's a fight, and I really wanna get it right
Where I'm at, is my life before me
Got this feelin' that I can't go back

Nostalgia has crept me this afternoon with this song from Leann Rimes. I've been into this might-have-been phase in the past days. Hope has been there; Jeopardy awaited; Tears have fallen... I tell you, I am not good dealing with such situations, most especially open-ended ones. A _____ ending is what I need. Life should move on.


My recent had been a 5-year unrequited longing. I tell you, moving on then wasn't in my vocabulary as I was very persistent; Hopeful. But then, I had to cut it hurtfully.

The roots of the resilient tree were pulled gradually from the barren soil.

With severely wounded roots from deracination, the tree is now planted to new soil.
The tree's life goes on.


ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Thanks for the visit drake! Glad you liked my post! Thanks for the compliments too.

It was said that people with OC-PD fears of losing control, of being helpless and of being alone. A sense of obsessiveness and compulsiveness is always healthy as it helps us manage our frustrations. Our compulsions provide a channel to our inner disappointments, and repetitive acts deflects our personal anxieties. I wouldn't blame many people for having such disorders, it is such human nature to maintain a profound sense of control of our lives, and when we ultimately lose control--that is the real tragedy.

Avoidant? That's quite interesting. But yeah, the thought of someone criticizing or rejecting you or the thing you do really sucks. =)

I can feel some sense of sadness and regrets in this post. Whatever youre going through, i want you to know that things do happen for a reason. I think we're currently in the same page now, I'm nursing some new wounds lately. =(

Drake said...

Thanks Ruff. I've just been into a whirlwind of emotions. God sure do gives me unprecedented challenges every now and then. He always choose experience as my best teacher. Yeah, I certainly believe everything's for a reason. It's really just a matter of perspective. BTW, I'm posting this through GPRS. Pretty cool. Time to doze off now. zzz... Hehe.

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

That's cool! I used to do that when I still have my treo. Hehe. I have a new post I think you could relate to, Just kidding. =) See ya soon drake. =)

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Thanks for sharing your sentiments DRAKE. I’m sorry if this post made you reminiscent of the emotional wounds you’re nursing. Remember when I told you (on this post) that I think that we’re currently on the same page? I guess I could sense what you’re feeling while I was reading your last entry. Misery, indeed, loves company.

Sex really turns everything into a big mess. In my case, if we didn’t do IT, I think we’re together as a couple now or whatever. But that’s just me. NO REGRETS I MUST SAY. If it weren’t for that mistake, then I wouldn’t have known that I’m the commitment type. I guess my days of being stupid are finally over. I’ve learned my lessons the hard way and I got the spanking I badly needed. As contradicting as it may sound, I guess I’m now bouncing back.

Be well DRAKE. Just want you to know that you always have me. =) Smooch.

Drake said...

Well I'm very happy for you that you're pulling all these learning from your experience. Experience really is the best teacher, and the hardest one at that; But the fruits of it are invaluable.

It's OK to have an emotional catharsis every now and then. The respite it provides is very comforting to the wounded self. It's not good to germinate bads seeds within. Bad trees grow from bad seeds. You know what I mean...

You'll get over this... Be proud of yourself that you're into such progression. It means you're getting tougher.

I'm getting better now. Thanks Ruff for dedicatedly sharing your thoughts. ¡Muchas Gracias!

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

Thank you very much DRAKE. You don’t know how your words are like balms to my hurts. They have been therapeutic to my pains. If there’s one thing I must be really proud of, I guess it’s my annoyingly useful ability to regenerate. To recycle my pains and turn it into something good. I guess I have perfected the ability to convert my losses into gains. And it’s not always a good thing. Because sometimes I just miss the feeling of pain.

At a young age, I am just thankful that my successes and failures about relationships really helped me to mature as a person. I know that I still have a lot to learn and I still need to gather more experiences but with what is happening right now, I’m just grateful that there’s no tragedy I wasn’t able to triumph over yet. After all these years, I am still here, wounded but alive, struggling but whole. I just want to take it all in, reprocess it in my memory, take off the flawed part, but keep the beautiful memories intact.

Just like my old wounds, I know that this one will definitely heal in its proper time. The pains are starting to subside and I’m now feeling better too. I’m praying for you too drake. Breathe in, relax, and let go when everything looks overwhelming. I hope this entry helped you in anyway, if at all. You are special. =)